I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
