there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boobs speak an international language.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
