So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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