WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
