What a fucking waste of an outfit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
