Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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