Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
