It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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