got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we still banned from the library?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize