As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
