I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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