Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
