Acid is not a monday night drug
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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