I hate your face
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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