shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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