Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
