did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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