You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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