when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
