I'm drive I can fine osifer
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
