I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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