I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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