he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
