It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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