i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
