Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
