ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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