if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pants are for mortals
I think people are normalizing furries
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
