Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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