Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
