someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
