she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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