I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
