i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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