No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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