He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
