I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
