How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
