You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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