How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
