I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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