ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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