Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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