i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
