McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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