The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
