i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
