Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
