i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
how drunk are you?
Several
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
