thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
