There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Buhtt sex?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
