i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
