I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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